Just be
He asked me if I love him… It sounds like a silly question so soon. Silly because society makes me think that way. My heart doesn’t think it’s a silly question. Considering my grandma met my grandpa when she was engaged to another man and 3 months later they were living together and married 6 months in. They were together “forever” forever in the sense my grandpa died still loving my grandma as much as the day they said I do. It happens all the time. Boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy. They get married sooner then anyone expected or accepted and some of them last longer then relationships where they had been dating for years.
It’s just life. Life has a silly way of bringing two people together. There is something magical I guess, that feeling when your emotions are playing tug of war with your heart and you don’t know which side you want to win. The side that is thinking what will everyone else think. Or the side that is like who gives a fuck. The who gives a fuck side is winning this one for sure. Love is a big word.
My past relationships have taught me to not throw it around because it will bite you in the ass. Also my past relationships have taught me to not worry so much. Worrying that something bad will happen will only make bad shit happen. I am currently doing what I hate. Worrying. I need to stop. It’s not going to get my anywhere. He can tell I’m scared. I wear it on my sleeve. Maybe it’s time to just jump. Fall without the parachute and if I get hurt then that’s just another scar that will mold me into a better person. If I don’t get hurt. Then I win. Either way is a win win situation. So tonight is the night I just take it as it is. Just be. Let it happen.
